That Guy
by Your Undoing
Summary: As much as he tries to deny it, House is most definitely ‘that guy’. 4x07 oneshot.


That Guy  
by Your Undoing  
Summary: As much as he tries to deny it, House is most definitely 'that guy'. 4x07 oneshot.  
Author's note: Ahh, I love season 4. Except... I wish Cameron would fall off a bridge. That has nothing to do with this, so, moving on... Anyway, this is just a oneshot that I was itching to write after 4x07 ("Ugly"), taking place shortly after House and Wilson's discussion of whether or not House is "that guy".  
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"I'm going to have _so _much fun with this."

House narrowed his eyes at Wilson's grin with a disapproving grunt. Wilson seemed to neither notice nor care, and proceeded along the hallway with an unmistakable bounce in his step.

"You said yourself that _all _guys are _that _guy," House whined defensively. "_You _are that guy. You're not allowed to—"

"You think you're _above _all guys," Wilson said, still grinning widely as they turned the corner and approached his office. "But you're not even above being _that_ guy!"

House made a face. "Yes, but can _that _guy make a grown man cry just by looking at him?"

Wilson raised his eyebrows at him as he put a hand on the doorknob. "I should think not… and neither can you."

House followed Wilson inside his office, glancing around only half-heartedly before flopping down on the couch and closing his eyes. Wilson sank into the chair behind his desk. He folded his hands delicately and fixed House with a suspicious look.

"You can't, right?" he asked slowly.

"What?" House asked distractedly, jerking his head up from the back of the couch. "Oh, yeah. Some guy the clinic. Tears _streaming _down his face. But then again, I think he had pinkeye."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "What an accomplishment."

_Knock knock_.

Wilson glanced up at the sound of someone knocking on his door. House simply groaned and adjusted the pillows of the couch, which earned him a glare from Wilson that clearly said 'behave'. House stuck out his tongue.

"Come in," Wilson called resignedly.

Lisa Cuddy didn't seem the slightest bit surprised by the fact that one of her employees was apparently half-asleep on the oncologist's couch. Upon opening the door and seeing him there, one corner of her mouth turned up with a satisfied grin.

"You. You _left _a patient in the clinic—he'd been waiting two hours!"

House grunted.

Cuddy sighed and strode across the room. She yanked a pillow out from beneath his elbow and smacked him.

"He said his calf hurt. His leg collapsed on the way home from the bus stop. Sound familiar?"

House rubbed the top of his head broodingly. "No," he whined.

"I gave him a glycerol trinitrate patch and sent him home," she said, crossing her arms. "But you'd better get your ass downstairs before I double your required hours."

House grunted again. "His leg collapsed so you gave him Nitric Oxide?"

Cuddy nodded stiffly. "Yes. Why?"

House looked up at her curiously. "No reason. That's fine."

She narrowed her eyes. "Great. So get downstairs. _Now._"

She turned and walked purposely out of the office, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

The door was barely closed before Wilson began to laugh.

"What?" House snapped, sinking back down into the couch.

"Do you know what trinitrate patches do?" Wilson asked, grinning ear to ear.

House glared. "They're for tendonitis, _duh._"

"Do tendonitis patients ever collapse?"

"No…" House's mouth fell open. "Oh my god."

"You are SO that guy!"

Wilson was practically squealing; House buried his face in his hands. After managing to stifle his laughter, Wilson looked over at him again.

"Cuddy's not young and shiny," he said as thoughtfully as he could muster, a goofy looking smile still plastered on his face. "Yet you're acting like an idiot around her anyway."

A muffled moan issued forth from behind House's hands. Wilson leaned forward, eyes wide.

"Do you _like _her?"

House moaned again.

"Ohhhh myyyyy god," Wilson gaped. "You're _that guy_ AND you have a crush on your boss!"

House glared up at him from the couch.

"_No,_ I—"

Upon seeing the smug look on Wilson's face, House closed his mouth. His head flopped back down into his hands.

Wilson smirked.

"Oh boy."


End file.
